“Unrequited Infatuation”

How can I ever trust my heart and mind 
They both had me to believe infatuation was reciprocated between us two 

How could I believe small talk about life, compliments, and sharing information about each other lives and hobbies with an exchange of smiles and laughs was just being friendly?......

How could I ever believe my time, conversations  with him and enjoyment on my face I had just by being near him and talking to him was any real  connection of intimacy

Why must I fall pray to either unrequited or deceptive love!!!
Why me?

Why must "love" be hard for me to find?
But it is so much easier for everyone else that is in my life?

People tell me  to try find it or stop trying to find it , but no matter what it always fails regardless

I just want to have one moment in my life where my love was reciprocated back, when I'm able to have a genuine romance, a first time date, a stroll across the lake holding hands with a guy downtown the city, a moment where I feel wanted from someone who wanted me for me and not only for my body

I just wish this all wasn't so hard for me 

I trusted my heart in believing it was love at first sight with a glimpse, but you  failed to listen to your heart

I realize my hope to find love was still slowly dissipating into oblivion  

You still hope and wish for another door to open but you keep putting a timing on it
You hope to stop counting the years of loneliness and singleness