“Seen by Lust, Never by Love”

Every Fleeting thought transpired like the blink of an eye when I conjured up a thought of each guy.

Each guy, I so happen to believe there was a chance of something, but
It was just an itch, or should I say their eyes of lust were captured seeing my bold black skin

Every encounter I had with a man who had lustful eyes for me as a potential for more

It was a constant reminder that I deserved more than what I endured and put myself through

As I heard each word come from their mouths, I felt each blow of pain behind each story they told me.

I could feel the loneliness that dwelt in their eyes, for the spark of sunlight had vanished and turned into smoke as time passed.

I could feel the anger ebb from their soul because each word from an ex made their fists clench and their pupils widen.

I could see how time passed by more for them than me because of age, but also because they've endured through several trials and tribulations.

I start to question how much time will pass for me.

Will I receive temptations to be deceived into lustful eyes of men, or have I already fallen prey to it?

I don't want to be tempted by the men I've encountered.

I want to continue to wish for sparkly romance, the spark of happiness you feel in your stomach and heart once you realize your crush likes you back. 

The way you feel when you kick your feet in the air when they say something that makes your heart flutter

The spark of just realizing they consider and think of you just as much as you do for them.

I just want to know how much I have to endure because I see through the eyes of some men who couldn't anymore and gave up

I still want to fight for love and be patient on this journey of finding the one.