“Flesh over Feeling”

The eyes of some men only desire my flesh. Their minds are tailored to one objective, and that is my body.
I can’t quite understand how a deeply loving mindset and heart can provide such a strong connection, only to be degraded and dismissed like an empty surface.
It’s because my flesh is more critical to the naked eyes of some men. I once thought it would be different for me as a gay man, but I learned years ago that this struggle will be everlasting.
Some men can’t even fathom holding a deep conversation or building a genuine connection.
There’s a lack of conversational effort, vagueness, and surface-level words. I find myself spinning, searching for even a small grace of reciprocation for all the energy I’m pouring into the conversation.
It seems that building a connection is too exhausting for some men, even at the very beginning. Weaving the threads of something meaningful feels too much work, so they retreat into vagueness, assuming you’ll stick around for whatever scraps they give.
I’ve found that many men elicit their desire for flesh more readily than their desire for connection, because it’s easier. They don’t realize how much damage they cause with this cycle, how selfishly they destroy someone else’s hopes and needs just to serve themselves.
A person should be desired for how their personality shines through conversation. The desires of the flesh shouldn’t come first, not in the beginning stages. Building connections and deepening them through meaningful dialogue and shared experiences should be the standard.
When you fail to offer that and show up with selfishness and greed instead of presence and care, you drain the hope and joy from someone’s heart.
Love should be possible. But as I’ve learned, it’s much harder to obtain because some men’s eyes and minds are blinded by selfishness, lack of decorum, and disrespect.