“A Fading Pain”

As I get myself ready to go into the office, I realize that the pain didn’t fade away completely.
It was still there and I’m not referring to my shoulder. I’m referring to the emotional pain I’m still having from him.
I try to shrug it off as I continue to struggle to dress myself to get ready to go to the office downtown. I knew I had to get out of the house because going downtown brings me joy and can help keep my mind off things, especially this “love gone wrong” emotional pain I’m feeling. 

As I look across the window waiting for my friend after a day of work, all I could think about is how you could possibly show up.

I wondered if you showed up, would I try to curse you out?
Will I mean mug you so bad that you walk away from me?
Will you even care to confront me if I did take off my mask?
I thought about how much you hurt me, but I bet you didn’t even care nor realize. 
I decided to not let you see how much it hurts and instead turn this pain into a lesson.
Even though a week has passed since the day I knew you weren’t the one for me it still lingers. 
The lingering and tightening feeling in my chest that makes me want to cry nonstop.

This was when I realized I'm still hurting unfortunately. The pain is fading but it’s like 5 to 10% is still there. I wonder if it's a reminder for me to not download the app ever again or just that I'm not over it?

I try to repeat a verse from the Bible, Corinthian 13:4-8, to help ease my mind and heart when I want to explode into tears. This coping mechanism helps a lot and I’m glad It works but it’s still not 100% effective. 

I hope this feeling fades away for good, but I just wonder when?
When will it stop……?