“I Crave for Love”

There are days that I crave for love.
I get sucked back into that oblivion void of "missing out on what a relationship feels like"

Like the feeling of your heart beats when you see your special person and how does your mind and breathing change?

How hard do you smile, and your dimples pop out when you see your special person? 
How does it feel to be wrapped around their arms as you burry your head in their chest and hear their heartbeat?
How does it feel to be able to grab their hand or go to them when you feel sad and need a huge & long embracing hug?

My mind constantly wonders about these things that I stated above so much and more that it starts to make me feel sad sometimes.
It makes me sad because I still don't know how it feels "do" does things, "feel" those things, and how long will it take to "feel" and "do" those things I stated above.

I even started to feel the temptations to download those apps again and thinking some men will help fill this void, but no I tell myself not one man on those apps cherishes my beliefs in "love".

I crave for the feeling of "love" not "fun", but apparently this generation of LGBTQ men believes it's almost impossible to find someone who has the same values as me in wanting "love".
I find it very sad I'm still wondering "What happened to love?" "Chivalry?" "Wanting genuine Dates and conversations?"

It shouldn't be that having "fun" is better than "love" nor should having "fun" be considered over "love" as living your life.

I'm shocked and still wondering who still cherish my beliefs & values of wanting "love" and how long would it take for me to find him? .....