“I want to Cry”

Love is such a beautiful thing.

Why must it be so hard  to find?

There are people in this world who put up this façade of "wanting love" but they really don't.

I'm able to now see  through this deception, but I wish I was able to in the past.
God, I wish I was able to even more better now because it feels like I want to cry.

I want to cry because I failed for the traps of "fake love".
I fell for guys who put up this wall wanting "fake love".

I want to cry because every time I watch a tv show or movie, I see how a boy gets hugged, kissed, or even holds hands with another person that I yearn so much for that it makes me want to cry.

To believe I could receive that from some man on an app.

I want to cry because I thought "love" would be easier for me but no only "to have fun" was easier.
I want to cry because I keep dreading this feeling of being an hopeless romantic  and still I'm craving for it when I see it displayed on a screen.

I want this feeling of loneliness, hopeless love, hopeless yearn for intimacy of a relationship to go away!

I however just don't know how and why I'm feeling like this and it hurts so bad that sometimes that tight feeing in my chest has returned and I want it to stop.....