“Magnet of Love or Fun?”

I’ve never imagined a day where I would be a person in this situation. A situation where I couldn’t even believe that would happen to me. I was harassed and continue to be despite me saying no several times. In the moment I felt so stuck that I couldn’t even deepen my voice and that I was literally panicking as my hear-my  heart was racing. I tried to believe  I was okay but the more I had to constantly  tell this man no , the more I felt stuck and more upset. I was lost and now I’m thinking what is about to happen to me. Is this going  to be repeat of my other incident that happened to me in 2014. It was the fact that he even  asked me “ want to have fun” and to even say “I’ll pay” as if I was some worthless boy looking for body to body contact and his pitiful money. I felt so degraded and angry that he said that to me. I tried to step away several times and he still persist but it wasn’t until the 7th time that he finally left me alone for good. 



I try to stop playing it in my head, but it just won’t go away and l don’t  know why and it’s hurting me. Am I  really seen as only good for body to body contact and not love. It was as if I’m a magnet to perpetual men that just want to get their fix for a little fun with love never even being offered. This is the reason why I’m hurt after this incident and some may say I’m over exaggerating but I’m not. It as If I continue to be seen as an object for body to body contact to men on apps and apparently now even in real life. When will true love ever come knocking on my door? I wonder as I try to forget but no it continues on , another man decides to ask if I’m free and now I can’t forget the incident. 

I wish it was easy to forget as normal people could but I can’t . I’m seeking “LOVE” not “FUN” so please hear me out and understand I’m  not a one night stand. I’m a   Man of love and man of marriage.